Monday, May 18, 2015

Coneheads

SInce the inception of the #unblockbikelanes the campaign has been flawed. The PPA is using it to create a database and enforcement is “mixed and inconsistent”. As witnessed by the pictures in “We Are Not Amused” where the same car blocks a bike lane and a trolley stop for seven days without a single ticket being issued by the police or the PPA.

I feel it's time for some street theatre. I believe that the concept listed below is an effective solution to raise awareness. It could even be used to promote pedestrian crosswalks that have heavy traffic by having coneheads provide a temporary crossing guard service.

I hope that someone will take this idea and run with it. Perhaps a joint effort between 5th Square and Spoke Magazine.
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Bike Lane Flash Mob
Coneheads will gather for 30 minutes at [INSERT LOCATION] and line the bike lane with awareness comes. Raising awareness of the bike lane and creating a safe passage for cyclists to promote Vision Zero.  At the end of 30 minutes we will gather our awareness cones and depart. Please do not block the sidewalk or entrances to nearby businesses and homes. Take a moment to consume mass quantities from a local business where we are gathered.

  • Who are we? We are Coneheads. We have gathered to promote vehicle safety and Vision Zero.
  • Where do we come from? We come from France.
  • What colour and size should my cone be? Every cone is welcome, the prefered cone is a standard 28” orange cone.
  • What is our purpose? Coneheads are creating public awareness of the bike lane to promote Vision Zero. Accessible bike lanes mean cyclists do not have to choose between riding in traffic or riding on the sidewalk. Which benefits pedestrians and drivers.
  • Who is in charge? Introduce them to the Spokescone  and tell them what time we will be leaving at.
  • What if someone tries to create a problem? Have everyone start recording with their cell phone cameras. Do not engage with anyone who is trying to confront us.

The four “M”’s of a bike lane liberation.
DON’T MESS WITH KIDS
DON’T MESS WITH COPS
DON’T MESS WITH MOTORIZED VEHICLES OR THE OCCUPANTS
DON’T MESS WITH OTHER CYCLISTS.

* DON’T MESS WITH LITTLE KIDS!! Parents are very protective of their children, especially if the parents are not around. NOTHING and I do mean nothing, says “please kick my ass” by saying something to a child that is not yours. Remember when a ten year old boy lied to his parents about getting hit by a stranger? We do not need this to happen.

* DON’T MESS WITH THE COPS!! IF the police ask us to leave, WE LEAVE. This is a peaceful, informational event. If you insist on debating the legality of what is happening and the police don’t like it, you are on your own. Nothing says love like having to call your significant other and ask them to post bail.

*DON’T MESS WITH MOTORIZED VEHICLES OR THE OCCUPANTS!! If someone insists on driving through or parking in a bike lane, let them. Remember they are driving a two ton vehicle that can cause injury. If someone yells something obnoxious  just wave back and let them drive away. Bottom line, if some wants to be a jerk let them. If you want to be a jerk than this is not the place for you.

*DON’T MESS WITH OTHER CYCLISTS!! Do not block the bike lane. If other cyclists ride through the lane, stay out of their way. Cheer them on from the sidewalk.

* STAY TOGETHER AT ALL TIMES. While ‘No force on earth can stop a hundred cyclists” might be true, there’s a lot of forces that can stop one or two cyclist. Not everyone likes people on bikes  and there are a people who would use this as an excuse to start trouble.

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